Song of the Day:

12:51 by The Strokes

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Breaking up Is Like Throwing out the Trash

One of the perks of being in that phase just after graduation and right before you start working, taking some leisurely time off under the pretense that the financial crisis isn’t helping Egypt’s employment rate much… I think I lost the trail of this sentence. Anyway, one of the perks is having all this free time to do all the stuff you usually want to do but never get around to because there just aren’t enough hours in a single day and not enough weekends in a single week.

Today I happily did two of those things. One of them was that I got to write in my blog. The other is that I cleaned up all the junk that has been piling up on my desk for almost a year now (since I moved to my new room when my sister got married… Yup, my sister is celebrating her one year anniversary this month… Wow, one whole year! Time sure does fly) and also the junk that has been piling up on my old desk in my old room… I’ll assume the junk there has been piling up for two years. And by the way, you should know that I consider myself to be one of the most organized people in the world.

Yes, yes, so anyway, of course I’m not writing to tell you all about the awesome time I had with a huge, blue garbage bag and little dust particles. What I am trying to write about (with a somewhat long and chatty introduction) is the things I came across from among the junk that has been collecting on my two desks for the past two or so years. Or in particular, one certain thing I came across from among all that junk. It was something I had spent around two weeks making for a certain ex-boyfriend of mine while he was in California. Of course my millions of fans that have been following my blog regularly know exactly who I’m talking about, but I’ll refrain from allowing this ex-boyfriend to read this post about him when he Googles his name. It doesn’t feel appropriate.

Long, chatty and emotionally-confused story short, I threw that thing I had found in the big, blue garbage bag along with the dust particles and other junk. It feels weird that I would throw out something that a little over a year ago meant the world to me. And that is how I discovered that breaking up is not only like losing a toe, it’s also exactly like throwing out the trash. Or maybe those are two stages that come after each other. Break ups: It’s like you lose a toe, then some thousand tear-soaked tissues later, it’s like you took out the trash. Sometimes my own witticism scares me.

 

P.S. I am truly sorry to all my fans if the font, text size and spacing are inconsistent throughout my last few posts. I have had this Macbook for probably two months and I am still Mac-illiterate.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The Long Awaited Idiotic Comeback

I have spent all day (a few hours actually, but I always dramatically exaggerate) shopping for a Mother's Day present for my soon-to-be mother-in-law. First of all, don't ask me how it is possible that I have gone so long without sharing with the world (or actually a handful of people) how I came to have a soon-to-be mother-in-law. I think I am still comprehending that one and I haven't formed real sentences, just a bunch of letters and squeaky sounds like "OMG, OMG, OMG" and "eeeeek".


Back to the point at hand. The present. I don't know why shopping for presents have always given me panic attacks. Could be because I base a lot of judgement on an individual on the gift they get me that I am overwhelmed by getting judged all that much in return. The thought of this present is making me so unease to the extent that it brought me out of my four-month blogless dry spell.


But enough about the present. How about the fact that I have a soon-to-be mother-in-law? Oh God, it's still too soon to process.


EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!!

Monday, March 9, 2009

22 Things I Want to Do Before I Die

1.  Backpack through Europe

2.  Go to Australia

3.  Go surfing

4.  Learn a new language

5.  Be a mom

6.  Have really long hair

7.  Go on a road trip through Egypt

8.  Climb St. Catherine

9.  Work for Google

10. Write a novel

11. Play an instrument

12. Go into a sex shop

13. Visit 100 countries

14. Live alone

15. Go on hig

16. Camp in the desert

17. Take self-defense classes

18. Go swimming in the ocean at night

19. Go to a strip club

20. Audition for reality show

21. Go to the movies four times in a row

21. Live in another country

22. Meet Nawal El Saadawi

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

23 Things I Want to Do Before I Die

  1. Backpack through Europe
  2. Go to Australia
  3. Go surfing
  4. Learn a new language
  5. Be a mom
  6. Have really long hair
  7. Go on a road trip through Egypt
  8. Climb St. Catherine
  9. Work for Google
  10. Write a novel
  11. Play an instrument
  12. Go into a sex shop
  13. Visit 100 countries
  14. Live alone
  15. Go on hig
  16. Camp in the desert
  17. Take self-defense classes
  18. Go swimming in the ocean at night
  19. Go to a strip club
  20. Audition for reality show
  21. Go to the movies four times in a row
  22. Live in another country
  23. Meet Nawal El Saadawi

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

3ashan Ta3rafo Bas, I'm Not Crazy

My sister met my boyfriend of just barely three months last night. The first thing she said to me afterwards was that she got a good vibe from him. The second thing she said to me was, “howa momken yet2adem emta?”


I wish I could escape all of it.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Trophy Boys, Trophy Wives

My mom keeps asking me if any of my friends are getting engaged, married or having babies. It’s insane to her that my 21 year old girlfriends who just graduated from college are all single. It’s insane to me that she would think that. I’m not being temperamental and I’m not trying to be rebellious or make a statement, but I just don’t understand why in the world everyone thinks that for a woman to find true happiness and success in life she has to find a husband. Like it’s the trophy you get for growing up well. “Congratulations, you’re a smart, sexy, pretty and funny woman! You win a man who will put up with you, fuck you, and let you do the dishes and laundry.” Some prize that is.


I won’t get into the fact that half of all marriages end in divorce, abuse or some form of unhappiness. But I just think there must be some alternative one can look forward to other than a simple domestic life. Perhaps some people are just better off being alone; exploring, traveling, discovering the world. I’m not saying that I’m one of those people. Let me be the first to tell you that I dream of having eight babies. Cooking romantic meals for my husband. Cleaning up after my kids. Driving them to soccer practice. But I just wish that I could feel that this really is what I want for myself. Not what society is enforcing me to have.


I usually tend to talk about how much I hate society versus my own individual wants and thoughts. And I know that most of that talk is overused and overrated. But it’s frustrating for me that ever since my sister got married and I have been having people I barely know tell me how much they can’t wait for my night as well or how they’re dreaming of the day they come visit my house with my husband. LIKE I CAN’T GET A HOUSE MYSELF!


My sister told me today that if a woman is 25 and single, her hopes for ever falling in love and living happily (married) ever after start to diminish. Apparently that leaves me three and a half years find that perfect man (or keep the current one around long enough), get that perfectly romantic proposal, anxiously introduce him to my parents, save up a shitload of money or all that a marriage entails, and go through the great ordeal of planning a wedding. Should I feel like I’m running out of time?

Friday, September 19, 2008

A Million Little Pieces

Individuality

I am just like Jean-Jacques Rousseau in that I have always prided myself on being different. He said: “But I am made unlike any one I have ever met; I will even venture to say that I am like no one in the whole world. I may be no better, but at least I am different.” I make a habit out of rejecting what society calls “normal”; challenging it and forming my own opinion of it and usually this opinion is in opposition. Mohammed Al Garf called me rebellious and I said I called it “individuality”. I discussed this openly at an AIESEC conference and everyone stared at me with gaping mouths and confused eyes. My Management professor defined rebellion as “the rejection of all values and norms”, conformity as “acceptance of all values and norms”, and creative individualism as “the acceptance of only pivotal values; rejection of others”. Next AIESEC conference, maybe I’ll talk to people about my creative individualism.

Future

I started my last semester at the new campus two weeks ago and ever since then I have been consistently doing two things: 1. complaining about everything that has to do with university; and 2. counting down till I don’t have undergraduate classes ever again. Right now I have 12 and a half weeks left. But I just realized that after 12 and a half weeks, I have no clue what I’m going to get up and do every morning. I have to start exploring the world and myself; I have 12 and a half weeks to make discoveries. But all I’ve ever known is that I want to travel the world and find a way to live on my own.

Performance Appraisal

I was recently told that I see the cup half empty; I criticize and poke holes instead of acknowledging a concern with possible solutions. I was told that I tend to get very stressed out when someone steps into my work. I worry about myself that I can never get close to people. I worry that I repeat my mistakes and that I am extremely stubborn. I trust too easily and I am very unforgiving.

Australia

The one positive personal thought I have from attending International Congress 2008 in Brazil is that I want to live in Australia. I want to learn how to surf, eat fish all day and become a complete hippie. But apparently Australia is about 17 hours away.

Emotional Investment

I recently realized that in the past four years, I have been single an aggregated sum of just about six months. I think it’s pathetic that I am be a woman who believes and fights for her strength and independence, yet I am a woman who cannot seem to live without affection from a member of the opposite sex. It makes me paradoxical and it makes me naïve and that is even worse. Jon Bon Jovi sings out to me, “I hated you the night you said you loved me/I hated you ‘cause I couldn’t love myself.” Perhaps that explains why all my relationships self-destruct? I am trying to learn and evolve. Apparently the wall I am oh-so-famous for having around me is gone. I am now willing and able to let people underneath at least one layer of my skin and see me. So there is still hope.

Egyptian Girls Who Sleep with their Boyfriends

The inside of the door of one of the bathroom stalls on the second floor New Falaki building discusses this topic. Everyone who wrote on the wall to discuss this topicl is judgmental. It’s judgmental to think that the girls who sleep with their boyfriends are whores. It’s judgmental to think that it’s closed minded to think that girls who sleep with their boyfriends are whores. I think everyone should be free to do whatever the fuck they want. And I wonder, why is no one discussing Egyptian boys who sleep with their girlfriends?

Time and Space

I now believe in Einstein’s theory of special relativity and the structure of spacetime. I seem to have been moving in time but in fact, I haven’t been moving at all. There are people that have not been a part of my life for some reason or another who are suddenly back. Or rather, all this time I thought life was progressing and all the while time has been standing still. There is Mahmoud Al Durrah who shares my gaps on MWs. We sit and it’s as if we didn’t get into a fight over a year ago and stop talking to each other completely. Adham Zidan was my first Computer Science friend, but since he switched majors two years ago, we have had nothing else in common. Now he is in my Romanticism class and he is not the same person I met four years ago. But there was a hint then of the person he is now, and the puzzle has fallen entirely to place. Shyma Zikry. Where do I start with this story? All I can say is that freshmen and sophomore years were probably the best two years of my life. I never realized that until now, and I never realized how much I missed this girl until now. I never thought we would ever be able to get past all the bullshit and be Heisse Pynk again, but I have bended time and space.