For Blue Skies

How many times does history have to repeat itself before I start learning from my mistakes. It's simple: don't call Hany from your cell so much or your dad will see the phone bill shoot up, and he will make your life miserable. So why do I keep forgetting that? Why do I keep on calling? And why do I have seven million Waseem songs that vary in theme from sad to angry to nostalgic. Each one marking a different time and a different stage in our relationship. I've been stuck in this Waseem loop for years and I can't get past it and I can't get over it.

Maybe that's why I want so badly to leave this summer. So I can feel something new. It's only just dawning on me that my life really has become a boring pop song and everyone else is singing along. And Microsoft and Google never replied.

I'm Back

I haven't written anything here in a while. I think I've discovered that my life isn't all that interesting to write about. "Dear Diary. Today I wrote a program. Life sucks." And while it is true, I started a blog at probably the toughest time in my life, just how many sad and existentialist posts can I write before sounding repetitive? Winter break is nice and relaxing. Nothing has happened in the past month (except for a little turbulence in the love department, but I'm choosing to block that out for now) and I love it that way. It's the first vacation I've had since something like high school and it's refreshing. I almost forgot what it feels like to wake up at noon and not feel guilty about it. I have absolutely nothing to do. Wow.

I'm feeling anxious these days because Google and Microsoft both haven't replied after I applied for summer internships there. My better judgment tells me it's over and to just move one, but it's too disappointing to consider. This summer is supposed to be my adventure. It's supposed to be the highlight of my blog. I want to travel and experience independence and be on my own and work and achieve something. I just can't handle another summer getting tossed back and forth between Cairo and Marina. So if it's not Google or Microsoft, I guess I'll have to settle for an AIESEC internship. Maybe go to the Far East. Learn about a new culture.

Speaking of travel, I'm going to New York in a couple of weeks! Sucks though, I'm missing an AIESEC conference. Relieved too, though, the leadership track isn't all as fun as the members track used to be. New York. But what is there to hope for, except to get hit on and buy fabulous clothes? I don't want to be dramatic and I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I would rather stay and go somewhere inside Cairo and stay at a crappy two star hotel with my AIESEC people. I want to go to Dahab and climb a mountain. But I believe that everything happens for a reason, so here's to hoping I'll find more than some clothes and some flirty guy in New York.

Grey's Anatomy just finished downloading. Thank God those writers are done with their strike and all my shows are back. Grey's Anatomy makes me cry and I love it.