I thought heavily daydreaming about someone was a sure sign that you are over someone else. But I guess the fact that every time I watch something with a hint of romance, I invariably feel bitter and shitty afterwards is a sure sign of the fact that I am NOT over someone else. Which is a strange thing for me to think of because I don't even miss someone else. Someone else has a concert tomorrow that I am missing and I don't really mind.
I guess I miss having a someone else but not that someone else in particular. I miss the feeling like it's 2:53 AM and I feel the need to call a person I miss. I miss the random, funny, sweet memories you accumulate over time with a person.
There are things I don't miss too. I don't miss calling a person at 2:53 AM to fight. I don't miss screwing up friendships for a person. And I definitely don't miss feeling forced to do things I don't believe in for a person. My dad always tell me if I believe in something I'll put all my heart and soul into it; but when I don't believe in something, it's hell. Which is pretty much true, I guess I give my father less credit than I should. But that's just how I am and I don't see how that could ever change.
I don't like drama. And I don't like someone crowding my space. I wish I could have a boyfriend with none of the bad strings attached. But I know that no guy in his right mind and on my date-able scale would ever exist somewhere near where I exist. That's what leaves me with the bitter/shitty feeling that comes with movies and anything else that reminds me of romance, or the lack thereof.
I fear I am a difficult woman that no one would ever be capable of putting up with. I have internal mental panic attacks because I think I might die a single, lonely virgin. Which seems highly unfair to me, because should I really be miserable because I have strong convictions? I would hate for anyone to think I am a feminist, so I guess I'll end this post right here before I start getting into The Consequences of Being a Strong Woman in the Arab World.
3 comments:
Woman I totally hear ya..
Sorry, currently we have only soft men who aren’t afraid to cry but who will basically crumble in front of or flee away from a strong woman...there’s a shortage in the likes of Attila the Hun, Ghenghis Khan, King Lear, Geronimo, and the one who was very popular with the ladies though he was only 4’2”: Napoleon Bonaparte...these are the only ones befitting of strong women, but they end up causing bloody wars so we stopped making them like that.
Does God know about your blog?
If so, please God wars are taking place anyways, grant us those men again.
Post a Comment